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Tuesday, 24 March 2009

100 Reasons why I HATE stairs....
...............................100 Reasons why I HATE stairs...............................
1. THEY SUCK!
2. People invented escalators.
3. People invented elevators.
4. You trip, fall, and crack your head open.
5. You trip, fall, and break a bone.
6. You trip, fall, and loose some teeth, break a bone, and crack your head open.
7. You trip, fall, and DIE (emphasis on DIE)
8. Someone pushes you (cont. on 9)
9. And you trip fall , break a bone, (cont. on 10)
10. Loose some teeth, (cont. on 11)
11. And crack your head open.
12. They make you tired.
13. They make you sweat.
14. They're pointless.
15. You can get murdered on stairs.
16. You can have genocide on stairs.
17. You can have a seizure and die.
18. It is hard to carry a six foot long flag up stairs.
19. When you carry a flag upstairs you hit someone. (which isn't always a bad thing)
20. It takes longer to get from point A to point B on stairs.
21. You can't open bags of cookies on stairs.
22. You can't text while walking on stairs. (Because then you'll trip fall and die and say "OW! I died =[")
23. If you don't pay attention you'll like trip, fall, and die or whatever and crack your bone and break your brain. WAIT! You'll crack your head open and break a bone….YEAH! That's what you'll do….=]
24. Stairs aren't green….Just so ya know.
25. "I don't like you stairs" says Brie.
26. If you push someone downstairs you are likely to go with them.
27. If you open a bag of skittles they'll all go down.
28. you can lose things on stairs…( Like your virginity ;])
29. When you drop something you have to walk down like 400 stairs!
30. If you're chewing gum you'll choke and die!
31. If someone picks their nose above you and flicks it, it will get on you.
32. Stairs are the cause of Global Warming.
33. They are the cause of World hunger, rape, drugs, and war.
34. There is no electricity on stairs.
35. BLEACHER STAIRS ARE THE WORST! You can like drop something and you will never get it back.
36. You can't clip your toenails on stairs.
37. Stairs are the cause of teenage pregnancy (hence 28)
38. Stairs make boy dumb.
39. Parents holding kids can drop them.
40. Stairs are meant for "exercise", and who really likes exercising?
41. Stairs give parents another reason to blame "teenage clumsiness"
42. Gives an opportunity to parents to push their kids down stairs.
43. If you drop your stuff on school stairs, you are pointed and laughed at and named "school fool"
44. Gives guys a chance to look at a girls butt going upstairs. And look down their shirt going downstairs.
45. You can't toast blueberry poptarts.
46. You can't make raspberry lemonade.
47. You can't wear 20 hats down or up stairs.
48. Can't have a clean party on stairs (but you can have a sexy party…..BOW CHICK WOW WOW!)
49. When you fall you hurt your butt (rifle and all)
50. You can't do the chicken dance on stairs.
51. You can't do the Macarena either….
52. You can't yell out "MATTHEW BECKY LIKES YOU" while pointing at her on stairs… (to all you Matthews out there…..we are talking about a completely different person…you just had to be at colorguard camp…to know…=])
53. It can't rain gumdrops on stairs…
54. You can't fight on stairs.
55. You can't eat starbursts on stairs, cuz you'll choke and fall and die horribly…
56. You can't have a prom on stairs.
57. You can't sleep comfortably on stairs.
58. If you are walking up stairs and someone in front of you farts it gets in your face.
59. You can't walk upstairs in crutches.
60. It is hard to walk up stairs with a broken arm.
61. You can't put makeup on, on stairs.
62. You can't blow your nose on stairs.
63. You can't unclog a toilet on stairs.
64. You can't make your bed on stairs.
65. I hate the number 65 so I'm not going to write a reason….MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
66. You can't have pillow fight on stairs.
67. You can't poke people going down stairs.
68. Dead terrorists have a hard time on stairs.
69. You can't say hi to Jose Jalapeño on a stick.
70. Suchi can't ride Azlan the lion on stairs…(again you had to be at colorguard camp to know what I am talking about.)
71. Becky can't see Steve from the movie Sleepover on stairs. (HAD TO BE THERE!!!)
72. Peter from the chronicles of Narnia can't ride Jacobi the unicorn down stairs.( HAD TO BE THERE!!!!)
73. Charlie can't bite you down stairs.
74. You can't hug Pauly Poprocks on stairs.
75. Jenny and Brie can't think on stairs.
76. Jenny can't be smart on stairs.
77. Brie can't make out with David on stairs…(HAD TO BE THERE!!!)
78. Jacobi can't walk on stairs. (and apparently brie can't either)
79. you can't grind people on stairs…(this one was modified for random purposes)
80. Brie can't open Jacobi's retarded, confusing, and new phone on stairs.
81. There is no twin telepathy service on stairs.
82. Hot guys don't use stairs.
83. Becky can't do anything going down stairs.
84. You can't have fun with sails on stairs.
85. You can't sing titanic on stairs.
86. Sara can't sneeze on stairs.
87. You get boo-boos on stairs.
88. Yogi bear steals your pic-i-nic basket on stairs.
89. You can't make colorguard shirts on stairs.
90. You can't straighten your hair on stairs.
91. You can't stare at Texas Hall on stairs.
92. You can't watch a movie on stairs.
93. You can't have a tea party on stairs.
94. Becky can't get together with Matthew on stairs. (NOT ANYONE YA'LL KNOW!!!)
95. You can't have Jacobi's birthday party on stairs.
96. You can't pet a penguin on stairs.
97. Stairs aren't cool.
98. Escalators are cooler.
99. Bob the Clock raped Amanda on stairs…….(she plays French Horn)
100. You can't write 100 reasons why you hate stairs…on stairs……..
AUTHORS
Jacobi L. (Scribe)
Jenny K. (Idea Maker)
Brie E. (Doesn't know what she is….FISH!!!)
Becky S. (Innocent bystander)
Also Thanks…..to Suchi, Sara, Holli, and Lexi for their contributions…….(ya'll know who you are…..)
AND REMEMBER TO KEEP SMILING!!!!!!!!! =] (and watch out for stairs…..)
To all you OU fans out there.....

Okay, So people who know me should know that I am a HUGE Oklahoma Sooners fan. And those who know me pretty much make fun of me every day........People say that:
1.The sooners suck.
2.(insert crappy BCS team here) is SOOOO much better than the Sooners.
3.Well, ya know the Longhorns beat the crap outta them.
4.They just get lucky.
5.All the teams the Sooners play are crappy teams.
6. I hate the sooners even though I don't watch football...But, I've heard they aren't a very good team.
7.If you live in Texas shouldn't you like the Longhorns?
etc....(You get my drift)
And as ALL football fans are aware..........the Heisman Trophy award was given Saturday, December 13th.
These were the nominees.....
Colt McCoy....Texas Longhorns
Tim Tebow....Florida Gators
Sam Bradford....Oklahoma Sooners
[Now I'm gonna get a little mean,,,,]
HEY!!!!! I almost forgot to tell you who WON!!!!!!!!!!
so guess who won....
nope....not Texas' precious Colt McCoy....
sorry....not Florida's wonderful and great Tim Tebow
but....
SAM BRADFORD FOOLS!!!!!
And I would like to say something else......
we are number two in the country but that's not stopping us from beating the crap out of Tim Tebow [Heisman nominee AND heisman trophy winner of 2007]
We will be playing the Florida Gators on January 8th, 2009.........
I suggest that all of those who taunt, and tease, and say horrible things about the Oklahoma Sooners should watch the game.
And let me enlighten you on the season of the sooners......
Aug 30 Chattanooga W 57-2
Sep 6 Cincinnati W 52-26
Sep 13 at Washington W 55-14
Sep 27 (24) TCU W 35-10
Oct 4 at Baylor W 49-17
Oct 11 (5) Texas L 35-45
Oct 18 (16) Kansas W 45-31
Oct 25 at Kansas State W 58-35
Nov 1 Nebraska W 62-28
Nov 8 at Texas A&M W 66-28
Nov 22 (2) Texas Tech W 65-21
Dec 6 (19) Missouri W 62-21

Overall...we have only lost ONE game......
yes...it was to Texas.....BIG WHOOPTY FREAKIN DOO!!!!!!!!!!!
[to all you NON-Sooner fans]
We usually almost ALWAYS beat Texas....they weren't ready for the game.....but......hmmm.....who was it that beat TEXAS TECH...the team that TERRIFIC TEXAS couldn't even beat...........THE OKLAHOMA SOONERS.....
And did you know? that the Sooners have made BCS history???
yeah....they are the first team in a long time to go over 60 points five games straight. yeah...your precious (insert crappy BCS team here) didn't do that did they?
So please.....to the people who I go to school with......Just shut up about all of the precious teams that you think are SOOO much better than the Sooners.....tell that to the Sports writers, announcers, and hell even the Radio personalities on sports radio stations.....because GUESS WHAT????
they all hate us too.....so you aren't special.........
And again.....If you don't like cheering for a losing team *COUGH*(insert crappy BCS team here)*COUGH*
Then root for a real team...a team that never lets you down.
P.S.
ya know the "wagon"...or "bus" that rides across the field whenever OU makes a touchdown? yeah...THAT IS A SCHOONER!!!!!!! here's the definition of a schooner:
Pulled by two white ponies named Boomer and Sooner, it is a scaled-down replica of the Conestoga wagon used by settlers of the Oklahoma Territory around the time of the Land Run of 1889. Its name comes from the common term for such wagons ("prairie schooners") and the name for settlers who sneaked into the Territory before it was officially opened for settlement ("Sooners").
and a SOONER is an historic name.........here's the definition of a sooner:
The term Sooners was used to describe settlers who entered the Unassigned Lands, located in the current state of Oklahoma, before President Grover Cleveland officially proclaimed them open to settlement with the Indian Appropriations Act of 1889 on March 2, 1889. The name derived from the "sooner clause" of the Indian Appropriation Act, which stated that no one should be allowed to enter and occupy the land prior to the opening time and that such people would be denied rights to illegally claimed land.

A little sooner fact:
our state song "Oklahoma" was in a musical called.....OKLAHOMA!!!!! wow imagine that! someone wrote a musical for OKLAHOMA!!!!!!!!! here's my favorite song in the world...
Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet
When the wind comes right behind the rain.
Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I
Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk
Makin' lazy circles in the sky.

We know we belong to the land
And the land we belong to is grand!
And when we say
Yeeow! Ayipioeeay!
We're only sayin'
You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!
Oklahoma O.K.

Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet
When the wind comes right behind the rain.
Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I
Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk
Makin' lazy circles in the sky.

We know we belong to the land
And the land we belong to is grand!
And when we say
Yeeow! Ayipioeeay!
We're only sayin'
You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!
Oklahoma O.K.

Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla
Okla-okla-Okla-Okla-Okla-Okla...

We know we belong to the land
And the land we belong to is grand!
And when we say
Yeeow! Ayipioeeay!
We're only sayin'
You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!
Oklahoma O.K.
L - A - H - O - M - A
OKLAHOMA!
Yeeow!

and that concludes today's rant.......